what is going on.

i should be writing an essay illuminating the far-reaching arms of the sex/gender system as explained by gayle rubin.  but i can't and i won't for now.  because i'm unsatisfied.

i have been going to school here for over a month now.  i've been sitting in class rooms, walking across the campuses, listening to professors, and reading material.  i have been taking notes with the same ferocity that i have for years.  i have been doing everything normally.  but i am unsatisfied.  

take this assignment, for example.  we are going to give you three pages to write an essay that you could write in one page single spaced, one such essay that you've accomplished many a time at oxford.  not only that, but this is your first actual assignment for this class.  this is your first reading response here.  whereas at oxford this would be, depending on who your professor is, your fifth or even tenth.  and, you're to write it on material that you've read and familiarized yourself with, but material which we have not facilitated any deeper analysis or discussion of, material that has simply been thrown at you, already pieced apart, like a piece of meat already cut up for a child to eat.

i'm really tired of having professors who don't really care about their students' learning, who don't seem invested in their classes-  that's not what being a professor is about.  it's not about throwing information at students for them to absorb.  it's like being a good cook- you give them the ingredients and let them make some crazy meal out of it.  you may facilitate along the way, and say that some flavors go better with others and that some lend themselves to this kind of food and these to others, but you give them the means and freedom to process it.

this is such busy work.  and it does not push me to understand the material more.  you've chewed it up for me already.  i'm just regurgitating what we've already discussed.  and i'm really really tired of not taking anything out of this.